ImPoRtAnT LeSsOnS

Thanks to my girl KP for these!

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

There are two theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative.